“You oughtta be ashamed.”

This is the corrective statement my parents often called upon when I committed some childhood infraction. You know, like sneaking an extra cookie or putting globs of mud on the dog’s back because it looked funny when she walked.

Ought. To. Be.

Wow. I woke up one morning hearing this in my mind like it was for the first time. “Ought to be” as if shame is something to aspire to; and definitely so if you dare to seek or find anything pleasurable. I see now that my child brain came to a faulty conclusion.

Now in my sixth decade on this earth, I realize how very much words shape us and our beliefs about ourselves and our world. Phrases commonly used in the 1960’s Southern States now come back to visit with new and deeper meanings. I’m realizing how much my beliefs about merit and pleasure were formed early on, based on well-meaning, though flippantly uttered words.

What about you? Are there any seemingly harmless phrases that effected your way of being in the world? More importantly, in what voice do we speak to ourselves and to others today?

Something to consider.