I Am My Own Jailer

Let go of the bar. Stand up. Walk away. Find your place, the one you dream of.

The Obesity Series

What story do I need to tell the world? In what experiences do I have expertise? For the longest, I could think of nothing. Then I realized that I have been dealing with obesity my whole life, for over six decades now. I think that may qualify me as an expert. I don’t mean “expert” as a scientist, health care provider or activist. I am an expert in the experience of obesity. I am a person with obesity born to a Mama with same. I am blessed to be surrounded by many loving, smart and capable friends who also happen to be obese.

The Obesity Series is about the experience we live. In this project I often use metaphor and symbols to express feelings and experiences that can be difficult to describe verbally.

Over the years, my interest in photography and art has been to find and to really see beauty in the everyday; the everyman, the everywoman and the environment in which we all live.

It must start with me.

There is a subtle difference between plugging and covering one’s ears. Are you choosing defiance or protection?

What if the sounds you have been avoiding are no longer shrill, critical and scary but now gentle, supportive and loving? How do you know when it’s wise to unblock your ears? Are you missing beautiful music, the sound of waves, and murmurings of love?

Avoidance, Covered and Plugged

This Weight

Intentions Neglected: Yoga

Intentions Neglected: Yoga

Intentions Neglected: Nutrition

My Belly is a Pillow, 1 and 2

Bar(i)ometer

Weight as a Placeholder for the Unspeakable

Frozen

I’m not sure if feeling “frozen” is something that all individuals experience, though I’m pretty sure it’s not just me. You know, that frustrating feeling of knowing and wanting to do what needs to be done, yet seemingly frozen in place, unable to move? This piece is an attempt to describe the feeling: numb, restricted, aware.

You Oughta Be Ashamed

This is the corrective statement my parents often called upon when I committed some childhood infraction. You know, like sneaking an extra cookie or putting globs of mud on the dog’s back because it looked funny when she walked.

Ought. To. Be.

Wow. I woke up one morning hearing this in my mind like it was for the first time. “Ought to be” as if shame is something to aspire to; you definitely need it if you dare to seek or find anything pleasurable. I see now that my child’s brain came to a faulty conclusion.

Now in my sixth decade on this earth, I realize how very much words shape us and our beliefs about ourselves and the world.Phrases heard come back with new and deeper meanings. I’m realizing how much my beliefs about merit and pleasure were formed early on, based on flippantly uttered, yet well-meaning words.

Are there seemingly harmless expressions that effected your way of being in the world? More importantly, in what voice to we speak to ourselves and to others today?

Something to consider.

The Last One

The Weight of Buried Emotion